The Frivolous Prince

It’s always easy to isolate yourself in college. You never really get to branch out and try new things once you’ve settled into a group. I’m the type of person who likes to spice things up and keep things interesting. Thus, I decided to go to a book reading. I have never been to one and was most excited about it. I mean I thought there would be less people there for the event, but it turned out a lot showed up, some out of deference and love, others due to class obligations. It just felt so good to be a part of something  lyrically sound and artistically beautiful. I really loved his poems and the the book to which he read two passages from (2nd more than the 1st). He was really honest and real and there was something palpable about the characters he spoke about and the feeling of kindness he had for them. Overall I enjoyed the experience and plan on going to another one next year.

Love Always,

Kevin

I was supposed to go shopping today but I couldn’t find my camera, and my shopping buddy was MIA. So instead I’ll post what’s on the menu for dinner.

• Main Course: Chicken Fettuccine with Sun-dried Tomatoes
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• Side: Honey Glazed Beef Ribs 
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• Dessert: Strawberry Shortcake with Cream Biscuits
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• Drink: Apple Cider
  
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Sources: Suburban Gourmet, Food Gawker, Ezra Pound Cake

This Saturday will be my first ever “Holiday Dinner Party”. Prior to this memo, I spent the day figuring out the menu and ingredients needed to pull off this joyous event. Moreover, about 5 to 6 people are coming over for dinner and I am most excited.

To be honest, I’ve never done anything on this large a scale before. I’m so nervous and excited I can’t help but get giddy inside. Though the gay in me wishes I had sent out invitations like a week ago, but whatever, there is always next year.

Stay tuned for what’s to come!

I plan on liveblogging the shit out of this.

Love Always,

Kevin

Dear TUMBLRs,

Today is a very important moment in my life. Today, I am a proudly accepted bisexual male living under the residence of my lovely Christian parents. To be honest, I can’t even believe this. It all seems like too much to take in. I have to say though that I feel so content it’s absolutely incredible.

[BACK-STORY]

Last night, I finally got the courage to tell my parents the truth. I knew doing so would mean losing them forever and somehow despite being aware of all that fear I decided to do something brave. I know now it was the best thing I could have during this Thanksgiving break.

As you all know, my parents are devout Christians and that impacts the way they see a lot of things.  While writing my letter I knew my greatest fear wasn’t their disapproval as it was the later effect it would have on my life.  You see, I rely so much on my parents and I thought by doing this I was truly sealing my fate.

In retrospect, it felt good writing that letter and finally telling my parents what was going on in my mind. I remember though how scared to death I was. I remember praying several times in order to calm myself down and be present. Doing that was what helped me through it.

Today at about 7:30-8 (EST) my parents finally received the letter. During the time prior to that I was nervous. I kept replaying in my head all the arguments they would have against this; all the fear and the pain it would bring, and how guilty I felt for burdening them. When I finally received their phone calls I couldn’t pick up. I let their phone go to voice mail and listened to their voice in order to gauge their response.

Despite sensing some sort of unrest, I knew I had to get up the courage to talk to them. For a while I couldn’t dial their number. I kept crying thinking to myself: What have I done, I might lose them forever. But as I pressed the buttons to call them, all that fear, all that self-doubt, it washed away. I knew in that moment that I was ready to hear what they had to say. [Thank God].

My father told me that above all else I should always focus on school and not get distracted. [Go figure]. That eventually we’d talk about it. To me that meant the world to me. He wasn’t angry and remained extremely calm (on like other occasions).  Still, he was just so certain of everything and having that support made me feel ready to face my mother.

My mother told me we already discussed this (I came out to her prior to this but under the whole “I’m still trying to figure this out for myself”) and said that after last summer passed (and I had told her inadvertently that I was indeed bisexual) she understands and is okay with it. In fact she was worried more about my father and how he would take it. In the end she told me to focus on my studies and that everything would be okay. But what meant the most to me was how much she said she loved me. That I shouldn’t worry and that no matter what we’d go through this together.

After all was said and done I felt like this huge weight had been lifted off of me. I danced around a bit, jumped, and screamed. As I walked down the street it felt so good to feel free. To be honest, I don’t hate myself anymore for who I am. I’ve learned to accept myself and be proud. This is something I’ve always wanted all along.

Moreover, I know this isn’t over completely. I know we still have to talk during Winter Break, and I know my parents aren’t okay with me dating just yet, and I’m fine with that. I’m just happy that I finally was honest with them. In the end they kept saying how much they loved me and that we’d figure this out together. And to be honest, that’s all I needed to hear.

In conclusion, I feel so privileged to have parents like that. I am so grateful because some people aren’t always so lucky. Still, I know this is far from being over. I hope in the future, one day, I can help to achieve complete equality for the LGBT community regardless of their race, gender, or religion.

Until then, keep fighting for the freedom and respect we all deserve.

Love Always,

Kevin

Disclaimer: Sorry if I’m all over the place, I’m just so happy.

Yes my mother called last night. No, I haven’t talked to her yet. I just can’t bring myself to face the music. I’m happy, no actually ecstatic that I finally told them the truth. But I’m nervous absolutely nervous as hell. I mean, what will they say? I can’t imagine it being different than: “I’m worried about you.”  I just want to have the courage to say all that I want to and not back down. I’m usually overly emotional and my parents don’t get how hard it is for me to say what’s on my mind without losing it. I just don’t know how to cope anymore. But for once, I felt good today. I mean really good. Like if this blows over I’ll be so happy, I can’t even imagine. But then I realized I can’t bring myself to call her. Not until my friends come back from vacation. But I know this is something I have to do alone by myself so yeah. I just need to get the nerve to pick up the phone and start talking to her. It’s just I feel like overnight I’ve become an adult and I can’t imagine how it must feel like now to take ownership for how I feel without breaking out in a sweat and wanting to puke as soon as possible. But I know this comes with growing up and that I’m not so little anymore and this is reality I feel me and my parents are finally waking up to.

Love Always,

Kevin

PS: I know I can do this. I know I don’t want to take back anything I said to them. I just love them so much, I can’t bare to lose them. Well I have hope that we’ll make it through this, I know we will. So yeah. Here I go. Wish me Good Luck.

• All I’m waiting for now is a phone call.
• This is the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever gone through.

Love Always,

Kevin